Let Me Do My Job

I was treated to lunch the other day by my friends J and J for my birthday. All of our kids were with us. You might think that their babies would have been the loudest…or maybe you’ve met my children? One baby fell asleep in the high chair and the other contented himself sucking on his toes. They are so cute…

To be fair to my boys, they are in general very well mannered little men. They are also very good at being 5 and 7…very good…scary good. They started to get a little loud and I reminded them that there are other people here and to use their “inside voices”. This was effective for about 35 seconds, before I had to remind them again more firmly.

Both J and J told me that they (my boys) were fine and they weren’t being too loud or rowdy, implying that I was over-reacting. Me?! Over-react? I would never….. And have I mentioned that H can really talk…any worries that we had about him not speaking when he was 3 are a distant memory. Remember Car Ride from Home...? J and J, God love them, think it is cute the way he only stops to breathe.

I love J and J, they are great friends. They are at stages in parenting that I haven’t been in for a while. It’s hard not to say “just you wait!” Sometimes too hard…yesterday I said it. I said, “You don’t know….your kids don’t talk yet, just you wait!” Just wait till your child doesn’t stop talking for 5 hours strait and all you can do is cry. Just wait till you have to wring underpants out in the toilet more than once a day. Just you wait till you have to break up a fight over an invisible cheetah.

Another parenting situation from this spring, which I posted to FB:

Last night at Cub Scouts, the Tigers were doing an activity, and H (who is not a Tiger) was a little upset not to have anything to do. I was able to talk him down by explaining that when he becomes a cub scout he too will do activities at the pack meeting. He was fine, happy even, until Over-indulgent Mom 1 says “it’s okay he can make a centerpiece for the banquet” to which I say “no really, he’s fine”. Then, of course, dear H begins the I-am-not-getting-my-way-so-I’ll-cry-like-a-bone-is-sticking-out-of-my-body cry (I... know some of you parents are familiar with this cry) So I took the boy out of the room and we had a nice little chat about not always getting your way , then he stops and is fine and happy again. Then we re-enter the room and Over-indulgent Mom 2 says “really, we have enough.” Seriously?! I was not about to let him have his way after all that. When a child’s parent says “NO” that is the end of the discussion.

I don’t know that I’m doing the best job at parenting, and literally only time will tell. I do know that my friends J and J and even the Cub Scout Moms had the best intentions. They even probably thought that it would make me feel better, make me less stressed even. But for me, it has the opposite effect. Let me do my job! Let me teach my children how to handle disappointment and how to behave.