Brothers

I have three brothers, two older and one younger. My older brothers were 12 and 10 years old when I was born. My little brother is 18 months younger than me.

Older brothers on TV fall into 2 categories: bullies or protectors. My brothers were neither. To be sure, I was and still am annoying (it’s a gift) but I was so much younger….I was too much of a baby to bully and I was far too young for them to bully the boys I liked. When I was old enough to date, they had married and had daughters of their own. All their protective instincts went to their daughters and rightfully so. I had some dates that needed some bullying from my older brothers, but I handled it. (cracking knuckles)

I have very few memories of them when they were in high school, or home from college. I remember they were “in charge” of JT and I one afternoon and they started to wrestle. I was terrified; I really thought they were trying to hurt each other. I’ve since learned that this is normal behavior and I am witness to it every day with my own boys. They went to the same college, but aside from riding home together I don’t think they spent much time together. Now there is a strange kind of distance between them, which is hard to explain. My older brothers are intelligent men, excellent husbands and amazing fathers. To them I wish a very happy Father’s Day (just a little early).

Now my little brother JT is a different story. Since the older kids (that’s what we called them) were not living with us for most of our formative years. JT and I were kind of a second family for my parents. Where the barn chores had been done by 4 now they were done by 2, where the older kids could play Parcheesi, we could only play checkers… JT was my best friend. We played cops and robbers, cowboys and outlaws. I played with GI Joe and cars and in exchange he would play Barbie and house with me. When we were younger I was certainly a bully, I would say “I’ll give you a dollar” to get him to do stuff. Naturally I never paid him. But as we got older and especially in high school I felt more than anything it was my job to protect him. Tragically one of his very good friends passed away on the way to school one morning, when they announced it over the loud speaker…I ran from my classroom to find JT. I’m sure he didn’t need me, but I needed to protect him somehow. I was worried when I left for college how he would do without me. I don’t think he ever needed me, or even knew how protective I felt. It’s a good thing we didn’t go to the same college; I probably wouldn’t have let him have much fun.

I am proud of my brothers. And I am proud of my sisters. Coming from a big family with double-digit age differences though sometimes challenging, is mostly a lot of fun. It’s never dull….or quiet.

JT is married now, and his wedding last year was the first time since my wedding that ALL of us have been together. Funny: after the wedding were all standing waiting for the photographer to take a family picture, she said, “Okay now just the IMMEDIATE family.” We laughed and more than one of us called out “we are immediate family” (there were 28 of us). I don’t want to think of the next time we may all be together…it may be under vastly different circumstances, unless we make it a priority.

Here’s to hoping we CAN make it a priority.