Sex

It's okay, Mom...this is not about what you think!

Growing up on a farm, as I've mentioned, gave me a head start on understanding the cycle of life.  Birth to death.  So now, as I am parenting my two boys I want to them to understand that birth, sex, and death are part of the life cycles of us all.  We don't have a farm, but we do have a television.

We've never sheltered them from watching programing about animals, well almost never.  This has been a good way for them to learn about all kinds of things...even sex.

Thanks to television my boys have long understood what "mating" is and why animals do it.  They know that mammals are all pretty similar in respects to procreation.  They also know that humans are mammals.  I would by lying though if I didn't say, I am dreading the moment they put it all together and look at he in that knowing way.

Funny story, with apologies to my dad:  Shortly after telling my parents that we were expecting our first child, we went out for breakfast with my parents, after church, and of course the future grandchild was on every one's brain.  When my dad says to Chief something like this,  "It's kind of neat to think about you swimming up there...isn't it."  He was of course referring to sperm.  My poor husband, how on earth does one respond to that, to your father-in-law of all people. "Yes, sir, it is fascinating thinking about my sperm impregnating your daughter."  I think Chief actually said, "yeah."

Yesterday my son comes home and tells me that he heard that "sex" and "sexy" are bad words.  When did that happen?  Sex, it is what you are, male or female (we'll cover transgender later).  It is also another name for mating.  Sexy is when the peahen likes the look of the peacock, she thinks he is mate-worthy.

 Isn't it just simpler if we are honest with our children?

to be fair, I did tell them that under no circumstances are they to tell anyone they are sexy until they are 18, and even then it is subject to my approval

4 Topics

Blogs are blowing up with posts this morning, I am sure, so why not add my own foolishness…

I call it foolishness because one person’s convictions are foolish to another and so on.  I’ve read a lot over the weekend but by-in-large they stick to 4 topics all with same starting point…the tragic and heartbreaking school shooting.  Here are the topics:

More gun control

Less gun control

Mental illness

God “kicked out” of schools

The first two can be put together because they are two sides of same coin.  You can say “guns don’t kill people, people do” or “are we going to ban cars/spoons too?” and “if you can’t fix the human, fix the gun.”  All of it is garbage, really.  What is not garbage is this:  guns are part of our American culture (like it or not).  So you either work with what you have or you fail.  To this end, I would like to share a story I heard on TED.  Skip to 4:47 to hear the part that really spoke to me.

How does this connect to guns and gun culture?  Here’s my connection:  you have to work with what you have.  In the U.S. we have a gun culture.  Instead of changing the culture…work with what you have.  Here we have guns.  Here we have lots of men and women with training and many more without.  Both sides of this issue need to work together, good ideas will be collaborative.  Laws aren’t great at shaping culture…it works best the other way around.

I don’t know the answers, though.  Would gun control work? I hope rather than believe it will.  What I believe will happen, is that many law-abiding, trained men and women will be helpless to protect others from those who still have guns.  That’s taking a knife to a gun fight.

I also link the other two, mental illness and God in school, but probably not in the way you think.

No one ever can kick God out of a school, know why?  God’s not there.  God is not in bricks and mortar, wood, or metal… God was never in cafeterias, classrooms, or playgrounds God has always been, and always will be in the hearts of believers.  No one goes to school without their hearts, so believers never go anywhere without God.   We should all have our rights protected.  A Christian should have the right to practice their beliefs as they want, and every non-Christian and non-believer should have the right to practice their beliefs AND not be hounded by Christians who tell them they are wrong and bad.  Non-Christians and non-believers share a long history of discrimination at the hands of Christians and Christian-run governments; it is high time for a balance.  Think of this like a scale...in our American history all the power and privilege has always been on the Christian (more precisely Protestant) side of the scale.   Isn’t it right to give some power and privilege to others?  To place power and privilege on the other side will have to make the power and privilege on the Christian side less weighty.  See…it’s a balance.

To those that have said this tragedy happened because God was kicked out of schools…I say shame on you.  That somehow these innocents were punished by God….shame on you.  Any person who commits terrible, terrible things is not the opposite of God or evil, these people are ill.  I don’t believe in evil…it is a crutch...a way to avoid the real problem:  Terrible illnesses that hijack people, and make them prey to the worst parts of human nature.  We are a culture that lacks knowledge and resources when it comes to mental illness.  How much easier it is to sleep at night when we say, “They were evil.” rather than the helplessness of “what could we have done?”

I want people to start listening to others, sharing ideas, and recognize that no one person, or party, or group, or faith has all the answers (although they think they do)…and have the humility and confidence to admit when you are wrong.

No more mumbling.....

I'm getting older.   There is just no two-ways about it.  Over the summer I had a birthday which makes me (gulp) 34.  But the truth is, it's not so much that number as it is the number you get when you add 40 to it.  That is a topic that I don't really want to talk about now.

More proof that I am getting older also came this summer.  I had my hearing checked.  Turns out I have moderate to severe hearing loss in both ears.  Basically my hearing is good until 1800 Hz then it drops off very sharply. It looks like this (I've also included "reference lines" for your information and enjoyment):

the yellow line reads:  Children's hearing when asked to do something

I had noticed more than a year ago that I was having a constant ringing in my ears and was having more trouble having a conversation with someone who I wasn't looking at.  But, in truth, I kind of thought it was just my imagination, that I was inventing this problem for myself.  (The audiologist admitted she thought the same, evidently most of the patients she sees are women my age who "invent" this problem for themselves.)
Anyway we were both shocked that I did  have hearing loss.   She mentioned that hearing aids would improve my hearing, but "only if I wear them"....duh....but this is what she meant:  Unless I am "ready" for hearing aids, psychologically, I won't wear them and a fat lot of good they will do me sitting in a case.

Worrisome because I am after all, only 34, and I don't work or have a hobby that exposes me to loud noises, the kind that typically cause hearing loss in us younger folks.  So what's happening?  Is it going to get worse?  The audiologist suggested I first noticed the change when I lost my 2000 Hz hearing, and if that was only a year ago, how quickly is this getting worse?  I have another appointment in a couple of months for another hearing test.

No hearing aids for me just yet, I am not ready.  Although according to Chief they come in all kinds of awesome colors (he is not just a fan but also a wearer) like fuchsia!  So until then...no mumbling.