Now It Begins

Maybe only moms in my position will find this as momentous as the title would suggest.  H graduated from preschool...it's official he will be going on to kindergarten.  This has been on my mind a lot.  Kindergarten is a big deal, its the beginning, isn't it?  It's the beginning of formal education, and for a 5 year-old he can't even imagine the end.  He probably wouldn't want to start if he could imagine the end.

When I started college, I couldn't imagine writing a major research paper.  I couldn't imagine giving a 20 minute speech on my topic.  So when they told us our freshman year that we would do those things, I was scared.  I thought to myself "I don't think I can do this".  We all did it, of course, and before I knew it I was graduating from  college.

When D re-enlisted just short of 2 years into our marriage, I was scared.  I worried about deployments and being so far from my family.  I was scared, I didn't think I was cut out for it.  But now we are 8 years into this adventure and it turns out I CAN handle it.   Don't even get me started on how unworthy I felt as a mother (and still do sometimes). 

It turns out that those things aren't nearly as scary as you thought they would be.  Most things in life are like that.  So maybe sending my youngest off to kindergarten won't be a scary as I think?  I'll have to let you know, right now I'm still in the "I don't think I can do this" phase.