VEP

My sister, N, just ran a marathon. How cool is that, right? She did great, and has already agreed to do another one….even before she is able to walk up a flight of stairs with any degree comfort. Cool and little bit crazy, if you ask me.


Dad told N that he was really proud of her. You are probably thinking okay….and? Those words from Dad are pretty rare. In fact I’ve only heard them once, when I was able to slowly descend a rope using only my arms. He usually expresses his pride when we have done something physically impressive. My little brother JT probably gets the illusive “I’m proud of you” more than any of the six of us. Dad once referred to JT as “a fine physical specimen”…

Last year, I ran my first 5K. Sure I did it for the school fundraiser, and for myself, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t hoping to get an “I’m proud of you” from Dad. I didn’t. Who cares about a measly little 3.1 miles? I suppose I peaked on his VEP (Verbally Expressed Pride) Scale when I was 16.

Physical fitness and weight have always been important to Dad. He’s been able to wear the same suit for the last, I don’t know….45 years? Seriously, recently his doctor told him he had the body of a healthy 55 year old…and he’s in his 70s. He obviously knows what he is doing. Recently he was impressed that a 25 year old was able to keep up with him on a 4 mile walk. I love that he forgets his age; I really do, because it helps me to forget his age.

I don’t know why he doesn’t say the words and I know that it is not intentional. I also know that he IS proud of me. I know he is proud of the woman I have turned into, he is proud of the kind of wife I am, and he is proud of the kind of mother I am. I also know how deeply he loves his children and grandchildren. Maybe it goes back to his childhood….doesn’t everything?

We all want our parents to be proud of us. And parents want their kids to be happy and healthy. I know that it is his desire that we maintain our health and certainly physical fitness key to that goal. So instead of feeling hurt, I have decided to try to look at it as a strategy. This is his unintentional strategy to keep us healthy. I guess it’s been working, I will be running another 5K this summer and maybe a 10 mile in December. I stress the word “maybe” and I use the word “running” very loosely.