Respect

My friend J told me today was Military Spouse Appreciation Day. J is a military spouse, too. Where was she going to celebrate the day? The commissary. What did I do? Yard work.


I think Military Spouse Appreciation Day is a little silly. Do farmers’ spouses get appreciation days? Do nurses and teachers? How about factory workers?

You might say, but think of the risks the military take! There is risk in everything. Anyone who has grown up or spent any time in a farming community knows how dangerous it can be. Soldiers, sailors and marines aren’t the only ones who loose limbs. What about the moving around? I say it’s not all bad, I think of it as adventure. One of my friends, with no association with the military, has moved far more often than we have. Does she get an appreciation day?

The biggest thing is…..We signed up for this. Anyone who joined the military post 9/11 must have known what they were getting into. Now sure, I didn’t raise my right hand and join the military; but D’s reenlistment was a joint decision. We knew what we were getting ourselves into. I knew that it meant deployments, TDY’s (Temporary Duty), and moving. I also knew that it meant job security, health insurance, and adventure….it’s not all sacrifice. I might as well have raised my right hand and said:

I, Mary, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend my husband; that I will bear with good humor the single parenting, periodic relocations, and my husbands’ Army buddies; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers’ wives appointed over me. I will do my best to learn and understand the acronyms, strange customs, and what all the different patches mean. So help me God.

All joking aside, don’t treat me special today, or any day. It makes me uncomfortable, I’m not special. If anyone deserves an appreciation day it is the military child. Or any child who won’t be able to say “I grew up in….” and just name 1 place. Any child that says “I’m worried about my dad” or “I miss my mom”. Appreciate the mom and dad who never imagined their “baby” fighting in a war, and every parent that mourns the loss of a child.

We all have risk, worry, and grief in our lives, don’t we? It’s life. It’s the good the bad and everything in the middle that make a life. All wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, and children deserve respect. It irks me when someone says “they have to earn my respect”...that’s crap. Respect does not need to be earned…it’s part of the foundation.

So today, on Military Spouse Appreciation Day, I only ask that I am respected. Respect your spouse, neighbor, boss, child….everyone….even the dinner-time telemarketer.