Things My Children Have Learned: Who's in Charge.

I overheard a conversation between D and H this afternoon. They were playing with some toy animals and a barn.




yep...this is the boss mom, I'm trying not to be offended



First H explained that you have to separate the girl animals from the boy animals. Secondly a mom animal is always in charge, and if there are no moms only then can the dad animal be in charge. Thirdly, if there is more than one mom animal, the mom animal with the widest mouth is the boss.

He’s only five, but it seems like he’s got a good grasp on things. Now I would never say that I am in charge…I don’t need to. Yes, in this house, I am in charge. I decide what’s for dinner (I welcome suggestions….usually), I clean the bathrooms (when I am good and ready), I decide what colors to paint on the walls (from the reject shelf at Lowe’s), etc… Moms set bed times, make appointments, and buy the clothes. How could we not be in charge?

My mom tells a story about the time my dad was left in charge of getting me ready in the morning. I can’t say that it was true, because I was only around 2…and my mom tends to exaggerate stories. What? No I do not see a striking resemblance! Anyway, the story goes, when my mom came back later in the afternoon, I am filthy and my shirt is on backwards. We’ve all seen the email that goes around about what happens when dads get left in charge….kids eating cake for breakfast, poor diapering, and total destruction in the kitchen.

I think this is pretty accurate, and it is not a slight on men. Generally, men have a different “skill set”, right? D skill set includes but is not limited to: grilling, mowing, locating exits, finding the way back to the car, and chili. Managing the rapid mood swings of children is not in his skill set. He is a great dad, but would be a crappy mom. This is why when children are involved the moms are usually in charge. In general moms are the primary care-takers even when both parents work full time. It’s part biological, part cultural, and part skill set that we fall into these roles.

As far as wider mouths go, well you only need to go to one PTO meeting to find out that is true. That is not a slight either…organizations need squeaky wheels.