I had thought about making this chain when D first left, but I decided against it for a couple of reasons. I was not that ambitious to cut, label and attach 120 slips of paper, but mostly I was worried. I worried that the length of the chain would feel overwhelming to the boys. I can’t imagine where it would have stretched to in our kitchen. Removing one link of over 100 doesn’t make that much of a difference, where as removing one link of only twenty makes a big difference. I wouldn’t have thought that I would put so much effort into thinking about a paper chain. This must be the most thought out and worried over paper chain in all of history.
Shortly before D left, in January, I remember that a gallon of milk put me in tears. Why? Because the expiration date was AFTER D would leave. Today I bought a gallon of milk that made me smile. Its expiration date is the day he comes home. Now that the time is so short, I’ve noticed that the words “let’s wait” have crept back into my vocabulary. Wait until Daddy is home to straighten the basement, to go out for pizza, to dust the ceiling fans. We are excited to hug Daddy, celebrate having Daddy home….and put Daddy to work!
H will celebrate his 5th birthday in these 12 days before D’s return, and I know H will miss his Daddy on this day. Otherwise he has done very well, I think. He is young and is used to spending most of his time with me. He missed D, but to be honest, it didn’t seem like he noticed. L, on the other hand, has really missed D. He has struggled with missing his daddy almost from the beginning. L has always been an emotional and sensitive child, and in D’s absence his reactions have become stronger and it takes longer to “settle” him. This is a boy that NEEDS his dad. L and I talk often about D. What he is doing (I reassure that he is safe), when he is coming home (I reassure that he IS coming home) and what we can do to make the time pass.
L has a classmate whose father deployed the same time as D. Her dad, however, won’t be home for eight more months. My heart goes out to this little girl and family and I worry that L’s excitement will really upset her. So L agreed that, at school, he would tamp down his excitement; but at home…he can go wild.
I am thrilled that D is coming home, I have missed him terribly. We are so lucky….we are lucky that he is in a safe place, we are lucky that he will only be gone for 4 months, we are lucky…. Most deployed soldiers are gone for 12 months; one of D’s friends will leave on his 3rd twelve-month deployment this fall. L’s classmate…who knows how many of her 7 years her dad has been home? I sometimes feel guilty for missing him, does that make sense? I have no right to miss my husband for a measly 4 months when most wives are missing their husbands for 12 months and some who will be missing their husbands forever.
So our chain gets shorter. We count down the days till we are all together again. L, H, D, Mary, and Mary’s Worries (my constant companion).
1 comment:
YAY! So happy for your family, only 12 days! It will go by quickly!
Yes, no matter how long your husband is gone you'll miss him. And there isn't anything wrong with that.
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