But, sometimes I feel like I must have.
For instance, I have a whole host of FB friends (all of whom I actually know) who LOVE EVERYTHING about motherhood. Really?! It must be some kind of mistake, right? They are not talking about the same kind of motherhood I am, right? RIGHT?
It seems as though there is a new attitude among new moms: NEVER ADMIT IT'S HARD
These are the same moms who chastise others for complaining. Which is why I get so many dirty looks when I joke about running away or selling my children to gypsies.
Motherhood is hard from the get go. For some lucky ones, it takes over our bodies and make us sick. For others, it feels like a betrayal (why won't my body do what it's supposed to?) Then later you have this tiny screaming thing, that doesn't speak, projects fluids from every orifice, and like noisy neighbors doesn't understand that people like to sleep at night. On top of all that, you can't reason with it, bribe it, or ignore it.
Fortunately the only time I am up in the wee hours of the morning are by choice, these days. But believe me, I still have those moments of I can't do this, it's too hard.
I written before about my experience My Post-Partum experience. I worry that these mom's are doing a disservice to themselves and to other new moms. It's okay to talk about how hard it is. Because I know these LOVE EVERYTHING moms are struggling too. Why do some women feel the need to be and do everything perfectly?
Motherhood is hard. Period. Anyone who says otherwise is selling you something. Is it that these moms think they should feel that everything is perfect and exactly as they expected? Or is it that these moms are really struggling and don't know that it's okay?
You can't prepare anyone for motherhood, not really. All you can do is listen and have compassion. Talk to new moms, tell them it's okay. It's okay to feel like you made a mistake, it's okay to wonder if you'll ever feel like yourself again. Encourage new moms to talk to their spouse or significant other, to talk to their doctor, their mother, their pastor, and other new moms. Remind them they are not alone. Remind them there is a difference between loving your child and loving your new responsibilities.
because no one likes being pooped on at 3 a.m....I don't care who you are.....
1 comment:
very true! Motherhood IS hard. I think, especially for first time moms, they don't want to talk about it because they have never seen anyone else complain about it all while they are in the 3 am throes of motherhood. Who wants to be the first one to complain when everyone else seems to be doing fine without whining? Now that I have a few years of motherhood under my belt and have talked to others I realize that, dang, new motherhood was rough and darn it!! why wasn't I asking for help??
Motherhood is hard and I don't think it gets any easier..the phases just evolve; newborns, terrible twos, school age issues, teens..you have issues at every age. Good advice parents need to look for help whatever age or issue they are having...even if it's being pooped on at 3 am.
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