The Good....and Bad...

The past few days have been exciting to be sure.  We stocked up on bottled water, canned food.  We had candles, flashlights, and a battery-powered radio.  But out lights didnt' even flicker.  That's good.

We did lose a huge tree limb, early on in the storm, and fearing the rest would come down and damage the house, fence or the neighbors'.... Chief went out in the rain and wind and cut some of the weaker ones down.  Sunday morning we had a mess on our hands.  The branches were piled on the driveway, we couldn't have gotten out if we wanted to.  That's bad.

All day, Chief and I worked in the yard.  The boys helped too, stacking wood that we could save for winter.  Not once in all the day did a neighbor come over to help or even talk.  Not once.  We watched them, coming and going all day, driving by slowly, staring at our mess.  That was worse.

Finally toward dinner time, a neighbor came over and offered to haul it all away....for a charge of course....

I am disheartened.

Funny Stories

Remember when you were little, and if you were from a land-locked state, going to a state that was on the ocean like Florida or California sounded so exciting?  I used to think that people in Florida were just dying to see Indiana.  Turns out....they aren't.

I confess, that I get a kick out of telling people I grew up on a farm in Indiana.  I feel like it is my duty.  Here in this particular part of Virginia, no one is actually "from" Virginia.  I've not met anyone else from Indiana.  Occasionally I'll meet someone who used to "live" there, but no one is "from" there.  I am "from" Indiana, so it is my duty to share my rural experiences.  I get a kick out of telling my farm stories, usually centered on  "loose"  (interpret that however you like) animals, waking up early, and chores.  Some of my favorite farm stories are:  "Milking goats: warm hands, fun to tease the barn cats.", "Careful where you walk." , "MOM!  The cows are out!!!!", and "Just put bag-balm on it."

However, my boys favorite stories are the ones about Silly Uncle J.  Like the story called "Why you shouldn't let your friend teach you karate." , "What you should and should not do, if a moth gets in your ear." , "How not to dry a pizza-cutter" or "How to break your own collar bone while playing football.....alone."  Then their personal favorite and mine, "Why you shouldn't ride on top of the van, while your sister drives."  These aren't necessarily "farm" stories and come to think of it, none of them have anything to do with manure.....except maybe the last one.....

Maze

Okay....back to Luray.  After we explored the cave, we went to the Garden Maze.  Like a corn maze but made of really tall hedges:

We split up.  Chief with H, and L and me.  It was my suggestion to split up, and my suggestion that we see who gets done first...but it was L's suggestion to run.  And run we did.  In the maze you had to find 4 stations, and stamp your card with a word.  These 4 words then were the theme of the maze.  We did finish first, well ahead of Chief and H, but we were sweaty and exhausted.  L led the way, for the most part.  Tricky because his center of gravity is much lower ,so he took the turns much faster.  I was afraid we would get separated if I didn't stay right on his heels.  Fortunately I didn't damage any hedges by falling over.

After Chief and H made it out, we enjoyed a nice ice cream together.  The maze was easily the best part of the day....even if L and I had to pretend that "it wasn't really a race....."

I feel the earth move under my feet.....

In case you haven't heard?  That's unlikely unless you live in the west and don't own a TV.  We had an earthquake yesterday.  5.9 baby!  We live just 56 miles from the epicenter (yes I looked it up on the GPS). 

All joking aside, perhaps one of the most frightening things I've been through.  I have felt earthquakes before, small ones of course.  Nothing like this.  There was no doubt in my mind it was an earthquake.  Then I thought, "maybe I am crazy?"  but sure enough everyone in the eastern United States felt it. 

I won't regale you with the whole story, of being on the phone with my mom, then yelling for my kids....oh wait...sorry.  After about a dozen phone calls from friends, neighbors, my mother-in-law, Chief, and a return call to my mom....we are back to our afternoon activities....that don't include huddling in a doorway.

Anyway, we are fine.  No damage.

Caves

Last week, we took the boys to some nearby caves, here in Virginia.  A bit of a drive, so we didn't tell them where we were going, instead we said "we are going to see a guy about a thing".  This worked for a while until L asked "what thing?"  Chief replied "oh....a house thing."  Then I realize that it may not remain a secret for very long, because L can read, and we were often passing advertisements for the caves.  Meanwhile H is complaining about going to see the "guy" and asks if when we get there if he can stay in the car.  Trying not to laugh I  said "sure, once we get there if you decide you want to stay in the car I will stay with you."  Finally we arrive at the caves and they were thrilled.  L had no idea, he had seen the signs but figured the "guy" lived near the caves, but H, of course, said he knew all along and that he had tricked us by pretending he didn't want to go.  HA!

The Luray caverns were discovered in 1878, by a group of men curious of the cool air issuing from a small hole in the ground, in the middle of August.  The largest series of caverns in the east, the immense number of stalactites and stalagmites still empress cave experts today.  The guide had a clever way to tell the difference between stalactites and stalagmites.  Stalactites hold "tight" to the ceiling, and stalagmites "might" reach there one day.  This is not the way I tell the difference, but I won't insult you with my junior-high humor.

We had a great time, it was nice to escape the VA heat if only for an hour.



This formation is 120 feet around.



 The largest body of water in the cave.  The water is only a foot deep but is so still that it reflects perfectly the ceiling above.

This the largest musical instrument in the world, covering 3 acres. 

Here is a vidoe I found of the organ being played.  Rubber tiped mallets gently tap the stalactites to make this music:

School!

Well, if I wasn't feeling nauseous already about starting my master's degree.... I am now:


I just read the syllabus' for my classes that start today.  Oh. Dear. Lord. (and I mean that most sincerely as a prayer.)


I now have the most serious of doubts that I can actually do this.  I have 8 modules to complete in each class.  Each module is pages and pages of what to read and where to find it, plus a paper, a quiz and a message board response.  Oh and I have to have access to an college or universities academic advising practices....um......
Most of my classmates (ack!  I have classmates again....I wonder if they'll think I am a nerd?) are currently working in an institution of higher learning in an advising capacity.  And  I would hardly call teaching the art of shoelace tying "higher learning"......so I am in a bit of a loss here.  Thank goodness for FB, I still have some connections.....

Also, why is it that three lettered acronyms are so scary:  WMD, IED, RPG....... APA?

I'd be lying if I didn't say, "I want to quit."  I do, but I won't.  Who am I to be afraid of a little (or a lot) of hard work....I have kids.  What I need is a mantra....I have one on the treadmill, but it's just a string of cuss words usually.  Any suggestions for a mantra to keep me from running away from school?

Slacker Mom

While waiting for an oil change, with kids in tow, I read a recent Time Magazine article about the division of "unpaid" work (house work and childcare) between men and women/mothers and fathers.  If you are interested it was in the August 8 edition, title story: Chore Wars

This article confirmed what I've been suspecting for years:  I am the slacker.

The gist of the article was this: working men and women, more or less work the same. (of course, I was settling arguments over waiting-room toys, so my comprehension may be lacking) On average men work more slightly more "paid" time and women work slightly  more "unpaid" time.  Basically men are more involved in family life then ever before, and more "moms" are working.  So the division of work, combining it all, is even.  The article goes on to say that the only clear "winners" are stay-at-home moms.  Stay-at-homes work less now than they did in 1965, because socially, men are expected to be more involved at home....bonus!

Stay-at-home moms have more "leisure" time, but did admit that an hour of reading by yourself, is different than an hour of reading while you are breaking up fights or finding missing Lego's every 15 minutes.  Also going out to lunch with your kids and your friends kids, is not the same as going out to lunch with just your friends.  The article also suggested that keeping the kids/family on schedule and planning meals, knowing the location of ingredients in the refrigerator adds a level of stress, that cleaning a toilet doesn't add.  And I would also like to add, that the first hour of childcare is much easier than the 12th.  Does that make sense? 

Chief works a lot.  He leaves at what we call "oh-dark-thirty" and isn't home till the boys' bedtime most days.  On the weekends, he does odd-jobs around the house, spends time with the boys, and often takes a well-deserved nap. 

I think he most-certainly works more than I do.....even without the vacuuming.  But he also didn't spend the last 20 minutes cleaning play-doh out from under fingernails.....or explaining a "light-year".

Our Summer Continues

For all of my Indiana family and friends, school has started already.  FB is full of back-to-school pictures and frowney emoticons about kids going off to kindergarten.

School doesn't start for us until after Labor Day.  I've heard it referred to as the Kings Dominion Law (Kings Dominion is an amusement park)....because the park would lose it's school-age employees and Labor Day weekend is a money maker.  Whatever it is...I like it.  Sure it means that the kids go to the middle of June.  But the heat of mid-June has nothing on the heat of August....I'd rather be a the pool (kind of).

This year is a little more complicated.  My graduate classes start next week, a full two weeks before elementary school.  That will be interesting.  I want to enjoy my classes, but I'm more interested in continuing this fabulous summer with my boys.  We are planning a trip to some nearby caves, trips to the pool, and hikes.....We are trying to squeeze even more fun into the summer for the boys and, in a way,  delaying the inevitable because my H will go off to kindergarten this year too:

How did these last 5 years go so fast?  He's my baby, my BABY!  Okay.....I'll save it for the September 6th.

Pictures

I love old-timey pictures.  They leave so much to the imagination.  These are pictures of my paternal great-grandparents:

I particularly like the top photograph, look at her hand.  It looks like she is "worrying" her thumb nail.  This is something I do often, when nervous or anxious.  This pictures don't say much about a life, do they? I'm not even certain I see any family resemblances....

These are my paternal grandparents (the children of the couples above):

Here of course I see family resemblances....I was fortunate to have known my grandmother.  She even lived with us for a while.  She passed away the summer before Chief and I married.  I never met my grandfather.

These are my maternal grandparents:

Like my other grandfather, he too passed away before I was born.  I was again fortunate to have known my grandmother.  She passed away when I was in high school.  Here too I see many family resemblances.  This is where I got my nose after all!

Finally here are my parents ( I wouldn't qualify this as an old-timey photo, though)

Aren't they a good-looking pair?  When L first saw this picture he was confused because he thought it was a picture of Uncle J.....
I love wedding pictures in particular, because there is so much that happens in a life AFTER that moment.  Are they doing now, what they thought they would be doing?  Or do they think "how did I get here?"

Finally, for your viewing pleasure, a picture from my wedding day.  I should have known what was in store for me from this "joke" picture.  And I wonder why they find bathroom jokes so funny?

Motherhood

I know for a fact, I didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday...

But, sometimes I feel like I must have.

For instance, I have a whole host of FB friends (all of whom I actually know) who LOVE EVERYTHING about motherhood.  Really?!  It must be some kind of mistake, right?  They are not talking about the same kind of motherhood I am, right?  RIGHT? 

It seems as though there is a new attitude among new moms:  NEVER ADMIT IT'S HARD

These are the same moms who chastise others for complaining.  Which is why I get so many dirty looks when I joke about running away or selling my children to gypsies.

Motherhood is hard from the get go.  For some lucky ones, it takes over our bodies and make us sick.  For others, it feels like a betrayal (why won't my body do what it's supposed to?)  Then later you have this tiny screaming thing, that doesn't speak, projects fluids from every orifice, and like noisy neighbors doesn't understand that people like to sleep at night.  On top of all that, you can't reason with it, bribe it, or ignore it. 
Fortunately the only time I am up in the wee hours of the morning are by choice, these days.  But believe me, I still have those moments of  I can't do this, it's too hard.

I written before about my experience My Post-Partum experience.  I worry that these mom's are doing a disservice to themselves and to other new moms.  It's okay to talk about how hard it is.  Because I know these LOVE EVERYTHING moms are struggling too.  Why do some women feel the need to be and do everything perfectly? 

Motherhood is hard. Period.  Anyone who says otherwise is selling you something.  Is it that these moms think they should feel that everything is perfect and exactly as they expected?  Or is it that these moms are really struggling and don't know that it's okay? 

You can't prepare anyone for motherhood, not really.  All you can do is listen and have compassion.  Talk to new moms, tell them it's okay.  It's okay to feel like you made a mistake, it's okay to wonder if you'll ever feel like yourself again.  Encourage new moms to talk to their spouse or significant other, to talk to their doctor, their mother, their pastor, and other new moms.  Remind them they are not alone.  Remind them there is a difference between loving your child and loving  your new responsibilities.

 because no one likes being pooped on at 3 a.m....I don't care who you are.....

HOA Woes

We live in a neighborhood with an HOA (Home Owners Association), and in an effort to get to know people in my neighborhood, I go to the meetings.  I have even volunteered to be on a committee to plan our 1st Annual Neighborhood party.

The biggest problem, is that despite our neighborhood having 290 homes, only about 7 people regularly show up, and in that 7 there are two couples.  So we have about 4 homes represented.  4....that 's it.

Recently, a resident started an online petition for a "traffic study"  to determine if we could do something about people speeding and ignoring traffic signs.  I signed the petition immediately because those are my chief complaints about this neighborhood.  It's why I drive my boys to school, walking them to the bus stop (at the end of the block) is dangerous.  Anyway this petition started a fire-storm on the FB page for our neighborhood. 

Everyone agrees  that it IS a problem.  But instead of signing the petition, they complain about the neighborhood, the HOA, about the lack of involvement, speed bumps.  I should note...that having been a regular at the meetings for more than a year, I 've not seen one of the complainers at a meeting. Also I did not know there was a difference between speed bumps and speed humps (sometimes called speed tables)....I am now informed.  I am now leaning toward the speed table (I can't use the word "hump"....it just seems wrong) rather than the speed bump.  Then today the swearing started..... All of this for a petition?  Really?!  Good grief people.  Grow up, be responsible for your own neighborhood....Haven't they heard "It takes a village?"

For many years my husband has been dreaming of, and imagining a place away from all stupid people...he calls it Chiefland.....It is a lovely place that requires you to pass an exam, driving test, and a series of intense interviews to be admitted.  It would also be the compound in the event of a zombie apocalypse.....

Sometimes despite my desire for community and "a village", I am sorely temped by the utopian idea of Chiefland....I hope he lets me in!

Family Traits

There are some family traits that are easy to see.  Take my parents and my siblings:

We all have dark hair.
We each have one of two noses.  I have the "witch" nose, although some would say it was "Roman"  insert "yeah...rome'n all over your face" some of us have the "other" nose.  Both are pretty unmistakable.

Then there are family traits that you can't see:

Sarcasm.  One of my nieces likens it to a language that her dad and aunts and uncles speak fluently. Guilty. I've also heard it described as the lowest form of humor.  I don't know about that (of course I would say that), I think we primarily use it to tease each other.  Teasing, whether you like it or not, is a part of life and sometimes hits rather close to the truth.  Fortunately because we are often the butt of our siblings' sarcasm comes the ability to "take" the teasing (some of us better than others....you know who you are!)  I tease people I care about.  That may sound backwards, but I assure you it is the truth.   I've learned, however, that sarcasm is not for the general public.  Something that I probably should have learned sooner than I did.

Competitiveness. My brother-in-law, we'll call him Crazy-T, once suggested that we are a competitive family.  But not in the traditional way, we don't compete over money or houses, jobs or even our parents attention.  He said we compete to be the funniest.  Since Crazy-T said that, I've observed at family get-togethers that he is absolutely right.  Most of my memorable family moments have more than one of us doubled over in laughter or gasping for breath, begging that they "stop the story...I have...to...breath"  Personally I can't think of a downside to this trait......

Another trait that my siblings and I share is respect for our parents, for the life they gave us on that small Indiana farm.  I am thankful now for the pre-dawn goat milking, and the heat-of-the-sun rock picking.  You would be hard-pressed to find  better work-ethics than those of my 5 siblings.  Were my parents perfect?  No, of course not.  Do we each have some hang-ups from our youth....naturally, everyone does.

You see, it's not just biology that makes a family.  It's love, and all the unseen family traits that we pass down to our children...the good and the not-so-good.

Have some extra time?

I am kind of obsessed with names. 

I could spend hours on this site:

http://www.babynamewizard.com/


This is where I learned that there was a number of men in the early part of the last century who were named "Mary".  Seriously.....

It was used much like my grandmother's, whose first name was also Mary but never went by it out of respect.  I wonder if I am being disrespectful?   Ponders using middle name instead......  I don't think I could be an Elizabeth, Liz, Beth, etc.....

Breaking News

This is serious...I crafted today.  I am so far out of my comfort zone, I'm not even sure that "crafted" is what I am supposed to say. 

When Chief was deployed we kept a clock in the kitchen set to his local time.  We called it "Daddy Time" the boys asked me 10 times a day (at least) "what time is it where daddy is?"  It was a a way to keep us thinking about daddy (like we needed any help!), a way to be connected to him, and also a teaching tool.  That's how L learned to read the time... 

We decided to always keep that clock set to whatever time it is where he is.  "Daddy Time" has been the same as ours for several months now!  But  more trips will come, and more time zones...so I expect the clock will get a lot of use.

I wanted to designate the clock in some way, so I made a plaque-like thing.

A very crafty friend of mine had talked about this project.  But being too lazy to actually go and look at the instructions again, I just did what I remembered.  This was quick and easy, and most importantly...not messy.

I can't wait to get this hung above the clock.

Social butterflies, we are not.

Chief and I don’t argue, well not of the yelling and slamming doors variety. Truthfully we don’t argue often but when we do it is more of the get silent and pout for a day then decide to actually tell each other why we are upset. And usually by then much of the passion behind the argument is dissipated. Pretty effective, if you ask me.

We had one such argument yesterday (which had actually started Monday night). We were talking about the National Night Out event happening in our neighborhood. He didn’t want to go, but he actually said something like “I wouldn’t be caught dead there”. This upset me, because I wanted to go. I thought it would be a good first step in finding a community.

Anyway, I could tell he was grumpy. So I stayed silent and responded “I’m fine” when he asked me what was wrong. All men know that this is crazy woman-talk for “I’m not fine and you should know why…read my mind, idiot!” Oh? You didn’t know that we add the word "idiot" to our thoughts? We do.

Finally last evening we apologized; I for speaking in crazy woman-talk and he for being grumpy. As it turns out, he had a pretty good reason for not wanted to go to the event. He is always meeting new people, and forming relationships in his job. This is, in a way, part of his job. It makes getting things done smoother and easier. So sometimes the last thing he want to do is come home and meet more new people. I get that.

I don’t meet new people often. Not for lack of trying though, see I take after my dad to a degree. My dad will talk to anyone and everyone. Language barriers don’t bother him. Once when visiting us in Germany, he walked over to some laborers who were working on post and though he doesn’t speak German and they spoke little English he stayed there for over an hour “talking” with them. They even gave him a metric measuring stick. My siblings and I have a lot of these stories. Anyway, I am that annoying person who tries to strike up conversations everywhere. However, as I don’t get out much….you get the idea.

But because my husband is a great guy, we did go to the event last night. And as it turns out, he did socialize, and it didn’t kill him.

Sunday With Mr. Darcy

Sunday afternoon, I asked my husband what his plans were for the day.  He had none, and asked me what I wanted to do.  So I told him:

I would like to spend the day cross-stitching and watching Jane Austen movies.  It was a joke (kind of) and I thought for sure he would roll his eyes or say something about needing a good nap anyway.

His answer:  OKAY

So for the next 8 hours that is what I did.  It was a great day.  I am sure it was a once in a lifetime occurrence.....


This is my favorite part:

I also watched:

and if I'd had time I would have watched: 

FB Friend Rant!

I have a few FB friends that I would like to "unfriend", but won't for some reason or another...doesn't everyone?

Like the person that just posts a string of songs everyday.  I think there should be a one-a-day limit.

Or the person with the "cause", who posts the same kind of articles 8 times a day.  These, incidentally, make checking FB on my phone really annoying.....  I'm glad you have a cause...but start a fan page or something!

Or the quiz taker and game player....that starts a new game or quiz slightly faster than I can block them from my news feed.....

Or the "Pat me me on the back for acting like a grown-up" friend.   I know you have one of these.  He/She wants everyone to know how they didn't hit someone (even though they wanted to) or didn't say something nasty (even though they wanted to) and how difficult it was for them.  I never comment, but sometimes I am tempted to write something snarky like "congratulations!  you're getting the hang of this adult thing!"

Or the "Why does everything go wrong for me?" friend.  Who only posts negative things so their friends will stay stuff like, " you are a beautiful person, don't forget that.", "he sucks"  or "I'm here if you need to talk...."  Listen, it is okay to feel sorry for yourself and to need kind words...twice a year.  If you are really that down on yourself, FB is probably the worst alternative to a therapist.

And my least favorite type of FB friend is the "Look how cool I am when I'm drunk" friend.  Drinking to excess is stupid at any age, and doing it anytime after your 30's birthday is stupid and pathetic.  I know this because you posted the pictures on FB!  Really?  Grow up.....watch Jeopardy like the rest of us!

Do you have types that you'd like to unfriend?  Like the stay-at-home mom who only posts funny (usually to her alone) stuff that her kids do?  Hey....wait a second........