Civic Duty

Well....I tried.  I tried to do my civic duty and participate in our neighborhood HOA.  But it's hard when there is a definite "boy's club" feel to it.  Not to say that there are not women on the board, there are, but to hear the way the men on the board talk to the women, it is hostile (to put it kindly).

A year ago, I actually had a title.  I wasn't a member of the board but I was a vice-chair for a committee.  Funny, you would think that a title like that would allow me to participate, and I would have...if I had been included.  Most issues were handled by the chair (a man) and another member of the committee (also a man) they even held meetings without me!  How do I know?  Well...I've got sources.

More recently, I was asked if I would be interested in being the chair for this committee which would then put me on the board, I said that I would.  But then a week later, the same guy that asked me to be the chair brought in a two other people (both men) and recommended THEY seek the board position.  WHAT?!  I'll take on a competition any day, but why serve where I am not wanted?

The worst part is, truly, that Chief and I are friends with all of these people.

I am not a feminist...or maybe I am...what is a feminist anyway?  I just want to be treated like I have a brain, that my opinions are as valid and valuable as any man's.  I can do anything, you can do......I will not break into song, I will not break into song.....It was Chief, actually, that first hinted that there was some sexist sentiment at play with the HOA.

The thing is, if you know me, it was EXACTLY that sentiment that made me feel I HAD to be on the board. I wanted to SHOW THEM!   Mary, the annoying popcorn kernel stuck in the teeth of the HOA board.   I admit it wasn't so much about civic duty then, as it was about proving a point.  But, common sense won out.  Why play that role if I am going to come home and complain about it to my family? They don't deserve that, and there is no greater-good...it's just an HOA

There is a positive to all of this:  This is the first time I've felt discriminated against because of my sex.  The first time...and that is not too shabby.  What that means is that, prior to now all the men that I've known well are pretty terrific.  My husband, my dad, my brothers, my friends, and with a record like that my boys stand a good chance of being pretty terrific themselves.

Fathers: the best way to teach your sons (and daughters) to respect women (and to be respected) is to model that respect for them.  Respect your wife, their mother, your mother, your sisters, your colleagues, your friends.  You may think that you are making a joke, kids don't know the difference, and more than likely you're really not joking anyway.