I’ve been really struggling with
my church experience lately, so much so that I am considering a new church, not
religion...but a different building, so to speak. Although, if you would ask my Priest, maybe a
new religion is what I need…but I’ll get to that.
The homilies at my church rarely
stray from these topics:
1. Give Money
2. Go to Confession
3. Dress Appropriately
4. Keep your kids quiet (oh I’ve got so much to
say on this one…but I’ll save it for another day.)
Recently, though, in the wake of
the health care reforms and the contraceptive debate a new topic has creeped
into the repertoire: Don’t Questions the Church, and if you must...Get
Out.
Maybe it’s my own hang-ups. I mean, Chief will tell you I’m not the
greatest at taking advice. And we all
try to, in one way or another, rationalize our own less-than-ideal behavior. This new homily topic has really irked me,
though. It is not so much that I
disagree, but that it is telling me to not use my own critical thinking skills,
and to always assume that the church is RIGHT.
In his homily several weeks ago,
Father said, “either you’re in you’re out.”
And “there are other churches you could go to…just down the road.”
I very nearly left right
then. Don’t tell me the church has a
monopoly on knowing right and wrong all the time. It has a long history that would prove
otherwise. Instead guide me, teach me to
come to those conclusions. Where is the
value in faith, if it is not learned and come to freely?
The church I went to as a child,
though also catholic, is so very very (yes
I used two!)different from here. I
realize now, truly how one-in-a-million it is.
A small catholic church in a very small town, who has ever heard of such
a thing? I went to a small catholic
college too, also a wonderful experience. I don't know if it was by their nature (being small) that they had to be inclusive....
I have never in my catholic –experience felt
so at-odds Catholicism. The thought of
not attending mass or not watching my boys receive first-communion is
heartbreaking; it is part of my family tradition. 90% percent of me is thinking that I just
need a new “building”; but there is that 10% that says, Father is right, I don’t belong here.
3 comments:
Before you decide you don't belong, I would ask that you do 2 things...1. I am pretty sure that all of the parishes are discussing this issue right now, so you won't escape the topic, but perhaps visiting some other parishes will bring you in contact with a priest that is talking about the major issues (religious freedoms and contraceptives) in a way that leads people to learn more for themselves. I have always hated parishes that go too far the other way. Make everyone happy...great, now we are all happy, but we don't have the opportunity to grow because you haven't said to me, "Look, you may disagree, but this is the church's teaching. Look into it. Study the history and the background of it...pray on it! Then, decide if you can get on board." I am an adult, I need to choose for myself.
2. As the situation has brought up the need for so many of us, I would suggest that you (as I need to as well) do some true adult study of the faith. Heck, start with the Catechism and the Biblical cross references. So often, we as cradle Catholics just accept things until we realize we aren't sure why...then we rack our brains for what we learned/heard about it through school/ccd. Often, that isn't enough to truly come to a decision informed by our own conscience (or what we heard was just incorrect). I find reading books from converts to be a huge help. They come from a fresh perspective that often started out trying to figure out everything wrong about Catholics...
I hope you stick around! I'll be praying!
Thank you, Sara. You know I have learned a lot along with the L and H (more so L, as he prepares for a couple of his "firsts") and their CCD classes. And I have considered going to adult Catechism classes, but I think mostly my discontent is inter-personal. Perhaps it is not so much the message as it is the method, does that make sense?
I do....I think that means it's time to check out some other buildings if you will :)
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