Unemployment

I am facing unemployment from my favorite job. It is definitely going to happen. In September of this year I will be an unemployed SAHM (Stay-at-Home Mom). H is starting kindergarten and I become useless. What did you say? Over-dramatic?! Me???

Honestly, it is hard not to look at it that way. I’ve spent the last 8 years playing, disciplining, reading, making lunch, cleaning messes, and more. Often, after a particularly busy day, I have a great satisfaction in sitting down and realizing that it is the first time I’ve sat all day. I have learned so much on this job: Hungry Hungry Hippo is the best game ever, and Candy Land is the worst. Before my boys I did not know that some dinosaurs were omnivores, or that you can color on carpet with crayons. I love this job. I still have so much to learn, like how to avoid a panic attack when L uses a public restroom by himself, and how to keep them from dating until they are 30? I am sad that my little boys are growing up, and I am excited to see the boys they are turning into.


Since D and I made the decision that H would be our last, I have been dreading this September. I can’t imagine how I will fill my days without them. I mean there is only so much time I can spend on Facebook cleaning the house. So I’m going to school, too. I will be starting graduate school in the fall, and I am terrified. What if this is a waste of our family resources, what if I fail, what if it is too hard?

Then eventually I will continue (but it feels more like re-start) a career. Thinking about a career is making me anxious as I type. What if I am not cut out for it, what if it is too hard, what if I don’t look good in pant-suits?


I am blessed that I've had the opportunity to stay home with my babies.  So I am also grateful that for the next few years I will be an unemployed SAHM.