GOD, HEAVEN, CHURCH

When my husband and I married we were not regular church goers, and really only since our oldest started CCD (Sunday school plus learning the traditions and roots of Catholicism) did we become regular church goers. This is a good thing, I like it, I feel better. Unfortunately I didn't do the research I should have before becoming a member at this parish. Truly I didn't really think that I needed to "research" a Catholic church, aren't they all the same? I see now that I should have known better.
Let me tell you about the church I grew up going to: It was small, very small. When you think of Catholic churches, you think of massive stone cathedrals, right? Well I grew up going to a "mission style" Catholic church in a very small town surrounded by farms. There were maybe 125 registered families. Although the priests changed over the years they always knew every one's names. Even now when I am able to visit my parents and go to church with them it feels like a "homecoming" People seem genuinely happy to see me and my children, I still feel a part of that parish. I have realized that this parish is literally "one in a million".
Our current parish is huge. There are 5 masses on Sunday, and they are all packed. Naturally the priests don't know every one's names. I was prepared for that, but I wasn't prepared for the priest to "teach" on the same 4 topics in every homily. I will list them in order of highest frequency:
1. Give us money
2. Dress appropriately
3. Keep your kids quiet
4. Go to confession

I am not exaggerating when I say that at least one of these is a topic at EVERY homily. Here are my thoughts on each of these topics, these are just my opinions.

1. I do give money. In cash form, not in the envelopes they provide. I know that they track how many people give in what amount. Does that make sense? Recently, in the bulletin, they listed the giving "ranges" ( $1, $5, $10, $15, $20, $30, $40, $50+) and how many family gave in each category. I stopped using the envelopes that Sunday. They take a second collection every Sunday for "debt reduction", I don't give in this collection. Say what you will.
2. I understand, I do. No one wants to sit behind a woman whose thong you can see, but when it comes right down to it...does God care what you wear to church?
3. Kids are kids and no matter how you teach, try, bribe, threaten they will make noise.
4. Here is a truth: I have been to confession exactly once in my whole life, in the second grade. Can you imagine the list of sins I have racked up since then? Honestly I am afraid to go to confession again, even though I do want to. I won't go to this parish. The priest said in last Sunday's homily " you are not a practicing Catholic unless you go to confession one a month at a minimum".

Despite how I feel about this parish, my oldest is learning so much, and I am doing a better job at being a religious teacher for my children (what is mom, really, if not a teacher?) I over heard my oldest this morning trying to teach is little brother the "Our Father" and "Hail Mary" prayers.
I know that after this year of CCD we are going to members someplace else. No place will ever compare to my first church, and it is not fair for me to compare anyway, but with a little research and reconnaissance we will find a place that feels better.