Breastfeeding

First let me say: I AM NOT PREGNANT, nor am I planning on becoming so.

I don't understand why women have to "weigh the pros and cons" when it comes to breastfeeding? Are there any cons really? Here is my list
Pro:
always ready
always the right temperature
no dishes to wash
don't even have to stand up
oh and one more: ITS BETTER FOR YOUR CHILD

It irritates me that women say "if I can, I will breastfeed" which really just means (I don't want to, but too chicken to say so) Of course you CAN breastfeed, you are a mammal. If you don't want to, don't, but don't say that you "weren't able".

I do understand that there are legitimate medical reason for not being able to breastfeed

I had three main activities when I was growing up: school, chores, and dance lessons. I wasn't very talented, even though my grandmother had been a professional dancer, but I worked hard. I worked hard to master complicated tap steps, and I had pretty good self-esteem for a teenager. I never gave 100% to school work (and certainly not to chores) but I always gave 100% to dance and theater. It made me feel special, I felt proud to have minor chorus roles at the Civic Theater in Fort Wayne and proud to have bigger roles in high school productions. Early in high school, each student had to have a meeting with one of guidance counslors. I met with Mr. Martin (not his real name)he asked me what I wanted to do after high school. College, naturally, and I wanted to study dance. In this small rural school, there were several girls that took dance lessons, but only one who was really talented, Jane (not here real name). Mr. Martin asked if I had ever seen Jane dance, and if I was a good as she. Jane had three things that I didn't have: true talent, beauty, and height. Flashforward to college, I was no longer taking lessons but I was still performing at the Civic Theatre in summers and doing small roles in the college productions. It still made me feel special, and I still gave 100%. Flashforward 10 years a military husband, and two kids later. All the things that were so important to me are gone. I love my children and my husband, and yet I still feel that a part of me is missing. I must ask myself this question everyday "is this the real me?" or "is this all there is?" I think that every sucessful parent has an outside activity, or outlet. Photography, art, running, yoga, work, etc. Something that puts them back in touch with their inner-self. I don't want to get all "aura sensing" or "chakra cleansing" here but everyone needs something for themselves. I think I need to get involved in theater again, or dance, or....something.

Between L and H

The other night after saying our prayers, L who is always asking for definitions of words asked "What does ever-after mean?" So I told him that it was kind of the same as forever. This he understood, but then asked "does that mean we will live forever?"
Now my son knows that nothing lasts forever "especially stickers" but also knows that everything has a "life span" so he was confused afer this prayer.
I tried to explain that this prayer was not about life on this earth but in heaven. H then asked L "what is heaven?" L responded "Heaven is where you go when you die....Mom and Dad are close." This immediately made me laugh and D too, soon we were all laughing. To date, that has been one of my favorite "parent" moments, I think because he said this in a most matter-of-fact way, he wasn't fearful or sad.

GOD, HEAVEN, CHURCH

When my husband and I married we were not regular church goers, and really only since our oldest started CCD (Sunday school plus learning the traditions and roots of Catholicism) did we become regular church goers. This is a good thing, I like it, I feel better. Unfortunately I didn't do the research I should have before becoming a member at this parish. Truly I didn't really think that I needed to "research" a Catholic church, aren't they all the same? I see now that I should have known better.
Let me tell you about the church I grew up going to: It was small, very small. When you think of Catholic churches, you think of massive stone cathedrals, right? Well I grew up going to a "mission style" Catholic church in a very small town surrounded by farms. There were maybe 125 registered families. Although the priests changed over the years they always knew every one's names. Even now when I am able to visit my parents and go to church with them it feels like a "homecoming" People seem genuinely happy to see me and my children, I still feel a part of that parish. I have realized that this parish is literally "one in a million".
Our current parish is huge. There are 5 masses on Sunday, and they are all packed. Naturally the priests don't know every one's names. I was prepared for that, but I wasn't prepared for the priest to "teach" on the same 4 topics in every homily. I will list them in order of highest frequency:
1. Give us money
2. Dress appropriately
3. Keep your kids quiet
4. Go to confession

I am not exaggerating when I say that at least one of these is a topic at EVERY homily. Here are my thoughts on each of these topics, these are just my opinions.

1. I do give money. In cash form, not in the envelopes they provide. I know that they track how many people give in what amount. Does that make sense? Recently, in the bulletin, they listed the giving "ranges" ( $1, $5, $10, $15, $20, $30, $40, $50+) and how many family gave in each category. I stopped using the envelopes that Sunday. They take a second collection every Sunday for "debt reduction", I don't give in this collection. Say what you will.
2. I understand, I do. No one wants to sit behind a woman whose thong you can see, but when it comes right down to it...does God care what you wear to church?
3. Kids are kids and no matter how you teach, try, bribe, threaten they will make noise.
4. Here is a truth: I have been to confession exactly once in my whole life, in the second grade. Can you imagine the list of sins I have racked up since then? Honestly I am afraid to go to confession again, even though I do want to. I won't go to this parish. The priest said in last Sunday's homily " you are not a practicing Catholic unless you go to confession one a month at a minimum".

Despite how I feel about this parish, my oldest is learning so much, and I am doing a better job at being a religious teacher for my children (what is mom, really, if not a teacher?) I over heard my oldest this morning trying to teach is little brother the "Our Father" and "Hail Mary" prayers.
I know that after this year of CCD we are going to members someplace else. No place will ever compare to my first church, and it is not fair for me to compare anyway, but with a little research and reconnaissance we will find a place that feels better.

Everyone needs a wife

My husband had shoulder surgery recently, he is recovering nicely but has limited movement and strength in that shoulder/arm. It hasn't been too much of a big deal till we started getting all this snow. He can't shovel. I am doing all the shoveling, which I actually enjoy. We really have gotten a lot of snow and I have had to spend some time everyday shoveling so while I am outside my husband is inside with the boys. Cleaning, cooking, and breaking up fights. I like the outside work, I like it better than running on the treadmill. I feel useful and strong and my new favorite word "robust". It is nice to come in to the house and smell dinner cooking, what a good thing it is to have a wife.