Skeptical?

I admit I am a skeptic...just to name a few:

Palm Readers/Psychics
Aliens
Bigfoot
Conspiracy Theories
Celery
ADD

Now before anyone gets upset about my list including Celery...let me explain:  I seriously doubt that anyone REALLY likes the taste of plain uncooked, unsmeared (as in with peanut butter or dressing) celery...it's just awful.

No, I know, ADD was the item on the list that I really wanted to talk about because Celery didn't really need an explanation.  Here are two things that I think about ADD (remember this is just my unresearched, novice, biased, and NPR-influenced opinion):   1)  It is real. and  2) Maybe it's a symptom of modern life.

I have kids, I have two boys for that matter.  It is boys who, statistically, are more often diagnosed.  What if, ADD symptoms are really just the results of this modern hectic life we live.  I listened to a program on NPR last year that said 40% of parents who take their children for ADD diagnoses, leave the doctors office with an ADD diagnoses for themselves.  This number has stuck with me.  Here is a list I found of common adult ADD symptoms:

• poor organizational skills (home, office, desk, or car is extremely messy and cluttered)
• tendency to procrastinate
• trouble starting and finishing projects
• underestimating the time it will take you to complete tasks
• “zoning out” without realizing it, even in the middle of a conversation.
• poor listening skills; hard time remembering conversations and following directions.
• frequently interrupt others or talk over them
• sense of underachievement
• easily flustered and stressed out
• irritability or mood swings
• trouble staying motivated
• hypersensitivity to criticism
• feelings of inner restlessness, agitation
• doing a million things at once

Looking at this list, I can't help but wonder if these things are just a result of the busy and fast lifestyles so many people live (this was a central theme in the NPR program you can read the transcript here).  I exhibit more than half of those things on the list on a regular basis....and Chief the other half. 

My oldest has been having some difficulty at school, he is easily distracted, nosy, and forgetful.  He is doing fine academically but pushing the limits, I think, of his teacher's patience (which is reason enough to work on this problem)... I am going to a meeting tomorrow actually, and I am worried that they will recommend an evaluation.  Here is my take:  he's 8.  Lets try some other things before we get too crazy, not everything needs a "diagnosis."  

Thanks to some smart friends...and a trip to a sporting goods store, I've got a few things that we are going to try.  I'll keep you posted.

Am I IN or OUT?

I’ve been really struggling with my church experience lately, so much so that I am considering a new church, not religion...but a different building, so to speak.  Although, if you would ask my Priest, maybe a new religion is what I need…but I’ll get to that.

The homilies at my church rarely stray from these topics:

1. Give Money

2. Go to Confession

3. Dress Appropriately

4. Keep your kids quiet (oh I’ve got so much to say on this one…but I’ll save it for another day.)

Recently, though, in the wake of the health care reforms and the contraceptive debate a new topic has creeped into the repertoire:    Don’t Questions the Church, and if you must...Get Out.

Maybe it’s my own hang-ups.  I mean, Chief will tell you I’m not the greatest at taking advice.  And we all try to, in one way or another, rationalize our own less-than-ideal behavior.  This new homily topic has really irked me, though.  It is not so much that I disagree, but that it is telling me to not use my own critical thinking skills, and to always assume that the church is RIGHT. 

In his homily several weeks ago, Father said, “either you’re in you’re out.”  And “there are other churches you could go to…just down the road.”

I very nearly left right then.  Don’t tell me the church has a monopoly on knowing right and wrong all the time.  It has a long history that would prove otherwise.  Instead guide me, teach me to come to those conclusions.  Where is the value in faith, if it is not learned and come to freely?

The church I went to as a child, though also catholic, is so very very (yes I used two!)different from here.  I realize now, truly how one-in-a-million it is.  A small catholic church in a very small town, who has ever heard of such a thing?  I went to a small catholic college too, also a wonderful experience.  I don't know if it was by their nature (being small) that they had to be inclusive....   

 I have never in my catholic –experience felt so at-odds Catholicism.   The thought of not attending mass or not watching my boys receive first-communion is heartbreaking; it is part of my family tradition.     90% percent of me is thinking that I just need a new “building”; but there is that 10% that says, Father is right, I don’t belong here.

2nd Greatest Compliment of my life

Recently we went to our first game night with our neighborhood "gang" because.... we do have friends!  Yay!  Never mind that I ate more hummus and buffalo chicken dip than played dominoes...it was a fun night.  You know you have "couple friends" when you can tease each spouse equally.

Anyway, over my 8th plate of aforementioned buffalo chicken dip, my friend R (husband of JA) says to me, "You are weird."  I don't really remember what we had been talking about, and maybe that only speaks to my weirdness.  I mean what if we had been talking about something that I shared a totally different view on but didnt' even realize how my views could have been so strange (weird)...OR...we may have been talking about mushrooms and the fact that I don't like to eat anything that could grow in a bathroom (weird) or old-food like raisins or anything pickled (weird)....or... who knows?

I thanked him, and told him that was a great compliment, to which he replied, " that doesn't surprise me, that you LIKE being weird."

Even in adolescents when fitting in was so important, I never really minded NOT fitting in.  Once in high school there were some whispers (and not very discrete ones) that I  "liked girls" and I remember thinking, Are you kidding me?  Is that the only thing you could come up with?  In hind site, knowing the source,  it was probably because I wasn't "sucking-face" in the hallway...  Outside of school I was always assumed to be much older than my age, and not (I think) because of my physical appearance.  My mom says (and she is always right) that I always had the self-assured nature of someone much older.

The thing is, I don't really consider myself all that weird, in fact, I'm kind of boring really.  But all the same, it's a great compliment.  To read more self-indulgent and mindless drivel about my greatest compliment read Complimenting.........

Noisy Moms...Hush!

Sometimes I want to shake people...don't you?

This morning was an awards assembly for the 1st and 2nd graders, you know attendance, good citizenship, those kind of things.   The teachers and staff at my boy's school (and I am sure many many other schools as well) use this sign when they need the kids to quiet down and listen:

Which does make me laugh a little, because I can't help but think "hang loose dude" and that is a phrase my kids look at me cross-eyed when I say...anyway...I digress.

The hand signal is effective on the kids...not so much the parents.  I could hardly hear for the chatty moms sitting behind me.

It surprises me when people say things like "kids these days" or "what is the world coming to when (insert reality star) gets rich for doing nothing."  Do they really not know the answer or are they afraid?  I know the answer...It's me, and it's you and it's everyone who has ever influenced a child.  It's not the kids, it's the parents isn't that obvious?

You want good behavior from your children....model good behavior.
You want them to grow up to be contributing adults....show them role models who are.
You want them to feel grateful and not spoiled......don't spoil and model gratefulness.
You want them to do the right thing....DO THE RIGHT THING.

We have one rule in our house..."Do the Right Thing" .....that's it, that's all you have to do.  But it's not simple or easy, children need to be taught the right things.  It is not the school's job...it's yours mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, etc....  It's every one's job.  I mess up everyday, everyday, because it IS hard.  I thought getting them to sleep through the night, or use the potty was hard...no THIS is hard.

So chatty moms during an awards assembly,  model good behavior for your kids...and mine.

A Different Side of Chief

For those of you that know my husband, the following story may come as a surprise.  And to my husbands co-workers...I assure you we ARE talking about the same man.  For those that don't know my husband this is going to be a very boring story.

Setting:
Dinner time.
Players:
Chief, Mary, L and H


Chief:  H, eat. It's barbecue chicken and it's great!  (he takes a fork-full of chicken and puts it very near to the face of L.)
L:  (gives THE LOOK)
Mary:  Really?! Daddy!  Is that the kind of thing you would approve of L doing to H
Chief:  No....But it's Super-bowl day and I am excited.
H:  Why?
Chief:  Football and funny commercials.
H:  Like what?
Chief:  like the sandman commercial.....
Mary: (because I can't hear a song title without singing it)(singing) Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream
Chief: (singing) Bum, bum, bum, bum
Mary: (singing) Make him the cutest that I've ever seen
Chief: (singing) Bum, bum, bum, bum
Mary: (singing) Give him two lips like roses and clover
Chief: (singing) Bum, bum, bum, bum 
Mary: (singing) Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over

(meanwhile L continues to "give the look" and H stops eating...of course)
Mary: (to L and H)  don't you think we could be in a band?
L:  (in hopes of getting an extra cookie, no doubt) Mommy, you're the best singer.
H:  (leaning over to Chief, and speaking in a whisper) But, Daddy, you're terrible.

(all players laugh)

End of scene

Chief really does act silly and sometimes he even sings.  To be fair, only one of my children was right in their post-song evaluations...but it wasn't L.

Rural is Relative

As I've gotten older, I realize that some words are relative.

For instance the word "traffic"...  traffic for my parents is getting stuck in a line of 10 cars behind a tractor or a horse and buggy.  Traffic in Indianapolis, is congested roads.  Traffic here....it can be like a 20 mile long parking lot....

Another relative word is "rural."  I always say I grew up in rural Indiana.  Which is true, but I wonder if a resident of rural Wyoming would laugh at my use of the word "rural."   Might she say, "it's not rural if you see cars that aren't yours."  So I will remember this Wyoming woman as I continue.

This is a street in my neighborhood:

Recently another member of this subdivision (that alone should tell you something) commented on our HOA FACEBOOK PAGE (see where I'm going yet?) that she chose this neighborhood because it didn't have sidewalks and it was more....wait for it..... rural.

Rural is Relative.